I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
