Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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