More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
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He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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