So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
farters have to be the big spoon...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
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I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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