so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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