she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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