She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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