I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
