I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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