Please, let me fuck your mom
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
