..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
