My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
