Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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