flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize