so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
