its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
