Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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