Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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