went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
