Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
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we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
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we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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