bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Dignity is for republicans.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
