I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
