i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
