U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
