Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If I had your ass I would rule the world
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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