put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
well you can't waste a boner
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
