I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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