Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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