Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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