Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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