shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
