Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
