we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm having to shit out rocks
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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