it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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