just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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