Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize