Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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