You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize