I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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