Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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