Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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