I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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