well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
