OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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