I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just gargled with NyQuil
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
