I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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