What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
