so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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