So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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