Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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