I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
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