Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
