party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
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super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
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Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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