I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
