how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
