ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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