Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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