We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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