If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
