Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.

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  (770): I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too. http://tfl.nu/c8jr
  Replies (24) Good night (710) Bad night (4113)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore

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  (229): my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore http://tfl.nu/2olf
  Replies (20) Good night (3276) Bad night (683)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.

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  (862): my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around. http://tfl.nu/z3u8
  Replies (13) Good night (4828) Bad night (891)
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  (315): View more from New York

  MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!

  (315): View more from New York

  AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!

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  (315): MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!! (315): AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/witt
  Replies (16) Good night (5995) Bad night (1386)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.

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  (612): These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit. http://tfl.nu/pqn2
  Replies (9) Good night (1320) Bad night (3880)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time

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  (515): I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time http://tfl.nu/arsj
  Replies (18) Good night (3501) Bad night (1676)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.

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  (815): It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina. http://tfl.nu/o9qo
  Replies (8) Good night (3751) Bad night (990)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"

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  (202): All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad" http://tfl.nu/wm4r
  Replies (3) Good night (608) Bad night (1556)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.

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  (509): My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood. http://tfl.nu/0wqb
  Replies (11) Good night (448) Bad night (3617)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping

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  (717): my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping http://tfl.nu/xy2e
  Replies (1) Good night (864) Bad night (422)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he told me it was like eating gods vagina.

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  (413): he told me it was like eating gods vagina. http://tfl.nu/d5n4
  Replies (12) Good night (1351) Bad night (461)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  It's a journey

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  And the destination is his penis?

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Precisely.

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  (907): It's a journey (1-907): And the destination is his penis? (907): Precisely. http://tfl.nu/ln5a
  Replies (2) Good night (1244) Bad night (350)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.

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  (412): It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression. http://tfl.nu/o4mu
  Replies (3) Good night (640) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.

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  (305): As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive. http://tfl.nu/jsq2
  Replies (6) Good night (855) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...

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  (215): Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment... http://tfl.nu/6162
  Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (155)

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