Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay. http://tfl.nu/09z9
  Replies (10) Good night (2182) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up. http://tfl.nu/l5tu
  Replies (10) Good night (5550) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot. http://tfl.nu/xny3
  Replies (35) Good night (5560) Bad night (1577)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot. (1-651): called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck. http://tfl.nu/1omb
  Replies (18) Good night (6153) Bad night (1623)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on. http://tfl.nu/x1xg
  Replies (21) Good night (7074) Bad night (1688)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing. http://tfl.nu/i0rl
  Replies (20) Good night (8428) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear.. http://tfl.nu/j8z4
  Replies (16) Good night (2317) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison? http://tfl.nu/qn7s
  Replies (4) Good night (1985) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Watching her eat just hurts me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Watching her eat just hurts me http://tfl.nu/nzv7
  Replies (7) Good night (496) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you. http://tfl.nu/h5o1
  Replies (12) Good night (1227) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover http://tfl.nu/dbpl
  Replies (4) Good night (924) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches... http://tfl.nu/4xud
  Replies (9) Good night (994) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  its good to be home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye. (985): its good to be home. http://tfl.nu/5qd5
  Replies (4) Good night (881) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with http://tfl.nu/mzbo
  Replies (1) Good night (375) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this? http://tfl.nu/qto4
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (249)

Randomize