I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
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Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
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Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious