I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
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She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
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he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block