wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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