I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
