Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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