I bet he comes in French.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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