Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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