You smell like stripper and shame
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
